...and then be understood
This habit reminded me of a skit I see often on Jimmy Fallon, which is a great example of a “Collective Monologue” where neither person is really listening yet they take turns trying to be understood in some way. It provides an exaggerated visual that supports the idea that when we aren't listening, we aren't getting anywhere.
On the other hand, I consider myself an empathetic person, and when contemplating this habit this week I think that actually sometimes I may not do enough to make myself understood. From a young age I was always told to “put yourself in their shoes” when I disagreed with other people and couldn’t see any way but mine. Over time it became a habit to always consider other people’s motives and hear them out. With some topics that I am passionate, I make sure to explain myself and try to find a middle ground, but with many topics that are less/non important to me- I have a habit of simply agreeing with people to move forward.
Dr. Pumpian said, “Understanding comes from revealing AND listening,” and it is the process of working to find a middle ground that is valuable, because then both parties feel valued and feel like contributors, even if you have to give up a little. Which is also a nice lead in to Habit 6...
Dr. Pumpian said, “Understanding comes from revealing AND listening,” and it is the process of working to find a middle ground that is valuable, because then both parties feel valued and feel like contributors, even if you have to give up a little. Which is also a nice lead in to Habit 6...